⁉️ Myth: Even Though You Are Chronically Ill, You Should Have The Same Amount Of Energy Every Day…

Myth: Even though you are chronically ill, you should have the same amount of energy every day. “You look SO good and you went to that party last month! Why can’t you come to MY party?!” When you say you are not well enough to do something, you are just making excuses. You could do it, just like you did that other thing; you are just choosing not to!

myth-busted

Fact: You may have heard me talk about “The Spoon Theory”. It was created by someone named Christine Miserandino, to explain the experience of someone with chronic illness in terms of using energy to live and to complete tasks every day. Though the myth assumes that one should have the same amount of energy all the time; the fact is that energy levels fluctuate and people who are chronically ill must make conscious decisions about what they can spend their energy on.

Christine Miserandino (2010) uses the spoon theory to answer the question, “What does it feel like to be sick?” The spoons serve as a symbol for resources available and energy spent to get through every moment of every day. Miserandino states that “The difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to”. Most people who get sick feel a loss of a life they once knew. When you are healthy, you expect to have a never ending supply of spoons. But, when you are not well, you need to count your spoons to keep track and you can never forget about it or take it for granted. Each task costs a spoon and each spoon is not to be taken for granted. Miserandino (2010) asks, “Do you know how many spoons people waste every day?”

Patients use the metaphor of a banking system. In this system, patients must make a withdrawal of a spoon every time they complete a task. Cushing’s and Adrenal Insufficiency patients talk about the “Cortisol Bank” metaphor. The concept is the same and the idea is that certain stressors and/or tasks cause one’s body to make a cortisol withdrawal from the body. Bad things happen when there is a cortisol deficit, meaning that there is not enough cortisol in the body for one to live everyday because of the amount of cortisol that has already been used up. If a person continues to draw from the bank on an account that is already negative, the situation can become worse and worse as each day passes.

Something needs to happen in order to start making appropriate deposits. This can include, taking more medication (stress dosing or an emergency shot), resting, getting adequate physical and emotional support and help, and saying “NO!”. Even when in a deficit, many patients have a difficult time saying “no” to an invitation to an event, completing a task, or engaging someone in a way that will use up more energy because of their fear of their loved one’s reactions. Much of the time, this fear is warranted because of the actual reactions they have received. Ever heard, “But you volunteered for the bake sale last week! You must be better! Why can’t you come to church this week?!”. You may have heard something similar.

It is important for loved ones to understand the amount of “spoons” it takes for a chronically ill person just to get through every single day. EVERYTHING costs spoons! The amount of spoons paid by each person varies from person to person. It all depends on that individual’s situation, body, level of illness, etc. What is common for all, though, is that spoons must be used and eventually those spoons run out. In order to avoid becoming sick or to recuperate from getting sick, the chronically ill patient must evaluate how he/she will use spoons and what tasks can be feasibly completed that day or week. Please understand that when the chronically ill patient says, “YES” to you; he/she is making a conscious choice to use up spoons to meet your need, request, or demand. Talking on the phone, going out to lunch, making dinner, coming to your event all required a sacrifice of another task that day or week. Your friend may have come to lunch with you but that required that she skipped washing the dishes that day or washing her hair, or is even giving up doing something important the next day. Instead of being angry at your friend, please consider why the request is denied at times.

spoons-mythsRefer to the attached picture. This is not an exact science but gives some idea of the spoon bank. If you have time, try doing this exercise: Lay out 8-12 physical spoons. As you complete certain tasks throughout the day, use this chart to subtract spoons from your pile.

Each and every thing requires a spoon. Taking a shower, washing your hair, cooking, cleaning, watching a movie, going out to lunch, working, writing this post (Ha)! When you are done with your day, notice how many spoons you have left. Observe your feelings after this exercise. You can even do it for a week. Lay out a certain amount of spoons for every day for seven days. If you go into a deficit, borrow spoons from the following day. However, if you do borrow spoons; you must take away a task that you WERE planning to originally do that day. Notice what happens and notice how you feel at the end of the week.

You can view “The Spoon Theory” in its entirety at: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Can you think of any other tasks that are not on this chart? Help our friends who are doing the activity. List those tasks and assign how many spoons each task will require.
Spoon Bank
Get out of bed- 1 Spoon
Shower- 2 Spoons
Attend Special Event- 5 Spoons
Go out for Coffee- 4 Spoons
Drive- 4 Spoons
Make a Phone Call- 3 Spoons
Work- 5 spoons
Play Games-3 Spoons
Clean the House- 5 Spoons
Have a Meal- 2 Spoons
Walk the Dog- 4 Spoons
Study- 5 Spoons
Watch TV- 3 Spoons
Ironing- 5 Spoons
Exercise- 4 Spoons
Shopping- 4 Spoons
Read- 2 Spoons
Catch Public Transport- 4 Spoons
Cook- 4 Spoons

 

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🦓 Day 15, Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2022

Today’s Cushing’s Awareness Challenge post is about kidney cancer (renal cell carcinoma). You might wonder how in the world this is related to Cushing’s. I think it is, either directly or indirectly.

I alluded to this a couple days ago when I said:

I finally started the Growth Hormone December 7, 2004.
Was the hassle and 3 year wait worth it?
Stay tuned for tomorrow, April 15, 2016 when all will be revealed.

So, as I said, I started Growth Hormone for my panhypopituitarism on December 7, 2004.  I took it for a while but never really felt any better, no more energy, no weight loss.  Sigh.

April 14 2006 I went back to the endo and found out that the arginine test that was done in 2004 was done incorrectly. The directions were written unclearly and the test run incorrectly, not just for me but for everyone who had this test done there for a couple years. My endo discovered this when he was writing up a research paper and went to the lab to check on something.

So, I went off GH again for 2 weeks, then was retested. The “good news” was that the arginine test is only 90 minutes now instead of 3 hours.

Wow, what a nightmare my arginine retest started! I went back for that Thursday, April 27, 2006. Although the test was shorter, I got back to my hotel and just slept and slept. I was so glad that I hadn’t decided to go right home after the test.

Friday I felt fine and drove back home, no problem. I picked up my husband for a biopsy he was having and took him to an outpatient surgical center. While I was there waiting for the biopsy to be completed, I started noticing blood in my urine and major abdominal cramps.

There were signs all over that no cellphones were allowed so I sat in the restroom (I had to be in there a lot, anyway!) and I left messages for several of my doctors on what I should do. It was Friday afternoon and most of them were gone 🙁  I finally decided to see my PCP after I got my husband home.

When Tom was done with his testing, his doctor took one look at me and asked if I wanted an ambulance. I said no, that I thought I could make it to the emergency room ok – Tom couldn’t drive because of the anaesthetic they had given him. I barely made it to the ER and left the car with Tom to park. Tom’s doctor followed us to the ER and instantly became my new doctor.

They took me in pretty fast since I was in so much pain, and had the blood in my urine. At first, they thought it was a kidney stone. After a CT scan, my new doctor said that, yes, I had a kidney stone but it wasn’t the worst of my problems, that I had kidney cancer. Wow, what a surprise that was! I was admitted to that hospital, had more CT scans, MRIs, bone scans, they looked everywhere.

My new “instant doctor” felt that he wasn’t up to the challenge of my surgery, so he called in someone else.  My next new “instant doctor” came to see me in the ER in the middle of the night.  He patted my hand, like a loving grandfather might and said “At least you won’t have to do chemotherapy”.  And I felt so reassured.

It wasn’t until later, much after my surgery, that I found out that there was no chemo yet that worked for my cancer.  I was so thankful for the way he told me.  I would have really freaked out if he’d said that nothing they had was strong enough!

My open radical nephrectomy was May 9, 2006 in another hospital from the one where the initial diagnosis was made. My surgeon felt that he needed a specialist from that hospital because he believed preop that my tumor had invaded into the vena cava because of its appearance on the various scans. Luckily, that was not the case.

My entire left kidney and the encapsulated cancer (10 pounds worth!) were removed, along with my left adrenal gland and some lymph nodes. Although the cancer (renal cell carcinoma AKA RCC) was very close to hemorrhaging, the surgeon believed he got it all.

He said I was so lucky. If the surgery had been delayed any longer, the outcome would have been much different. I will be repeating the CT scans every 3 months, just to be sure that there is no cancer hiding anywhere. As it turns out, I can never say I’m cured, just NED (no evidence of disease). This thing can recur at any time, anywhere in my body.

I credit the arginine re-test with somehow aggravating my kidneys and revealing this cancer. Before the test, I had no clue that there was any problem. The arginine test showed that my IGF is still low but due to the kidney cancer I couldn’t take my growth hormone for another 5 years – so the test was useless anyway, except to hasten this newest diagnosis.

So… either Growth Hormone helped my cancer grow or testing for it revealed a cancer I might not have learned about until later.

My five years are up now.  When I was 10 years free of this cancer my kidney surgeon *thought* it would be ok to try the growth hormone again.  I was a little leery about this, especially where I didn’t notice that much improvement.

What to do?

BTW, I decided to…

🦓 Day 15, Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2020

Today’s Cushing’s Awareness Challenge post is about kidney cancer (renal cell carcinoma). You might wonder how in the world this is related to Cushing’s. I think it is, either directly or indirectly.

I alluded to this a couple days ago when I said:

I finally started the Growth Hormone December 7, 2004.
Was the hassle and 3 year wait worth it?
Stay tuned for tomorrow, April 15, 2016 when all will be revealed.

So, as I said, I started Growth Hormone for my panhypopituitarism on December 7, 2004.  I took it for a while but never really felt any better, no more energy, no weight loss.  Sigh.

April 14 2006 I went back to the endo and found out that the argenine test that was done in 2004 was done incorrectly. The directions were written unclearly and the test run incorrectly, not just for me but for everyone who had this test done there for a couple years. My endo discovered this when he was writing up a research paper and went to the lab to check on something.

So, I went off GH again for 2 weeks, then was retested. The “good news” was that the argenine test is only 90 minutes now instead of 3 hours.

Wow, what a nightmare my argenine retest started! I went back for that Thursday, April 27, 2006. Although the test was shorter, I got back to my hotel and just slept and slept. I was so glad that I hadn’t decided to go right home after the test.

Friday I felt fine and drove back home, no problem. I picked up my husband for a biopsy he was having and took him to an outpatient surgical center. While I was there waiting for the biopsy to be completed, I started noticing blood in my urine and major abdominal cramps.

There were signs all over that no cellphones were allowed so I sat in the restroom (I had to be in there a lot, anyway!) and I left messages for several of my doctors on what I should do. It was Friday afternoon and most of them were gone 🙁  I finally decided to see my PCP after I got my husband home.

When Tom was done with his testing, his doctor took one look at me and asked if I wanted an ambulance. I said no, that I thought I could make it to the emergency room ok – Tom couldn’t drive because of the anaesthetic they had given him. I barely made it to the ER and left the car with Tom to park. Tom’s doctor followed us to the ER and instantly became my new doctor.

They took me in pretty fast since I was in so much pain, and had the blood in my urine. At first, they thought it was a kidney stone. After a CT scan, my new doctor said that, yes, I had a kidney stone but it wasn’t the worst of my problems, that I had kidney cancer. Wow, what a surprise that was! I was admitted to that hospital, had more CT scans, MRIs, bone scans, they looked everywhere.

My new “instant doctor” felt that he wasn’t up to the challenge of my surgery, so he called in someone else.  My next new “instant doctor” came to see me in the ER in the middle of the night.  He patted my hand, like a loving grandfather might and said “At least you won’t have to do chemotherapy”.  And I felt so reassured.

It wasn’t until later, much after my surgery, that I found out that there was no chemo yet that worked for my cancer.  I was so thankful for the way he told me.  I would have really freaked out if he’d said that nothing they had was strong enough!

My open radical nephrectomy was May 9, 2006 in another hospital from the one where the initial diagnosis was made. My surgeon felt that he needed a specialist from that hospital because he believed preop that my tumor had invaded into the vena cava because of its appearance on the various scans. Luckily, that was not the case.

My entire left kidney and the encapsulated cancer (10 pounds worth!) were removed, along with my left adrenal gland and some lymph nodes. Although the cancer (renal cell carcinoma AKA RCC) was very close to hemorrhaging, the surgeon believed he got it all.

He said I was so lucky. If the surgery had been delayed any longer, the outcome would have been much different. I will be repeating the CT scans every 3 months, just to be sure that there is no cancer hiding anywhere. As it turns out, I can never say I’m cured, just NED (no evidence of disease). This thing can recur at any time, anywhere in my body.

I credit the argenine re-test with somehow aggravating my kidneys and revealing this cancer. Before the test, I had no clue that there was any problem. The argenine test showed that my IGF is still low but due to the kidney cancer I couldn’t take my growth hormone for another 5 years – so the test was useless anyway, except to hasten this newest diagnosis.

So… either Growth Hormone helped my cancer grow or testing for it revealed a cancer I might not have learned about until later.

My five years are up now.  WhenI I was 10 years free of this cancer my kidney surgeon *thought* it would be ok to try the growth hormone again.  I was a little leery about this, especially where I didn’t notice that much improvement.

 

What to do?

 

⁉️ Cushing’s Myths and Facts: Even Though You Are Chronically Ill, You Should Have The Same Amount Of Energy Every Day…

Myth: Even though you are chronically ill, you should have the same amount of energy every day. “You look SO good and you went to that party last month! Why can’t you come to MY party?!” When you say you are not well enough to do something, you are just making excuses. You could do it, just like you did that other thing; you are just choosing not to!

myth-busted

Fact: You may have heard me talk about “The Spoon Theory”. It was created by someone named Christine Miserandino, to explain the experience of someone with chronic illness in terms of using energy to live and to complete tasks every day. Though the myth assumes that one should have the same amount of energy all the time; the fact is that energy levels fluctuate and people who are chronically ill must make conscious decisions about what they can spend their energy on.

Christine Miserandino (2010) uses the spoon theory to answer the question, “What does it feel like to be sick?” The spoons serve as a symbol for resources available and energy spent to get through every moment of every day. Miserandino states that “The difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to”. Most people who get sick feel a loss of a life they once knew. When you are healthy, you expect to have a never ending supply of spoons. But, when you are not well, you need to count your spoons to keep track and you can never forget about it or take it for granted. Each task costs a spoon and each spoon is not to be taken for granted. Miserandino (2010) asks, “Do you know how many spoons people waste every day?”

Patients use the metaphor of a banking system. In this system, patients must make a withdrawal of a spoon every time they complete a task. Cushing’s and Adrenal Insufficiency patients talk about the “Cortisol Bank” metaphor. The concept is the same and the idea is that certain stressors and/or tasks cause one’s body to make a cortisol withdrawal from the body. Bad things happen when there is a cortisol deficit, meaning that there is not enough cortisol in the body for one to live everyday because of the amount of cortisol that has already been used up. If a person continues to draw from the bank on an account that is already negative, the situation can become worse and worse as each day passes.

Something needs to happen in order to start making appropriate deposits. This can include, taking more medication (stress dosing or an emergency shot), resting, getting adequate physical and emotional support and help, and saying “NO!”. Even when in a deficit, many patients have a difficult time saying “no” to an invitation to an event, completing a task, or engaging someone in a way that will use up more energy because of their fear of their loved one’s reactions. Much of the time, this fear is warranted because of the actual reactions they have received. Ever heard, “But you volunteered for the bake sale last week! You must be better! Why can’t you come to church this week?!”. You may have heard something similar.

It is important for loved ones to understand the amount of “spoons” it takes for a chronically ill person just to get through every single day. EVERYTHING costs spoons! The amount of spoons paid by each person varies from person to person. It all depends on that individual’s situation, body, level of illness, etc. What is common for all, though, is that spoons must be used and eventually those spoons run out. In order to avoid becoming sick or to recuperate from getting sick, the chronically ill patient must evaluate how he/she will use spoons and what tasks can be feasibly completed that day or week. Please understand that when the chronically ill patient says, “YES” to you; he/she is making a conscious choice to use up spoons to meet your need, request, or demand. Talking on the phone, going out to lunch, making dinner, coming to your event all required a sacrifice of another task that day or week. Your friend may have come to lunch with you but that required that she skipped washing the dishes that day or washing her hair, or is even giving up doing something important the next day. Instead of being angry at your friend, please consider why the request is denied at times.

spoons-mythsRefer to the attached picture. This is not an exact science but gives some idea of the spoon bank. If you have time, try doing this exercise: Lay out 8-12 physical spoons. As you complete certain tasks throughout the day, use this chart to subtract spoons from your pile.

Each and every thing requires a spoon. Taking a shower, washing your hair, cooking, cleaning, watching a movie, going out to lunch, working, writing this post (Ha)! When you are done with your day, notice how many spoons you have left. Observe your feelings after this exercise. You can even do it for a week. Lay out a certain amount of spoons for every day for seven days. If you go into a deficit, borrow spoons from the following day. However, if you do borrow spoons; you must take away a task that you WERE planning to originally do that day. Notice what happens and notice how you feel at the end of the week.

You can view “The Spoon Theory” in its entirety at: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Can you think of any other tasks that are not on this chart? Help our friends who are doing the activity. List those tasks and assign how many spoons each task will require.
Spoon Bank
Get out of bed- 1 Spoon
Shower- 2 Spoons
Attend Special Event- 5 Spoons
Go out for Coffee- 4 Spoons
Drive- 4 Spoons
Make a Phone Call- 3 Spoons
Work- 5 spoons
Play Games-3 Spoons
Clean the House- 5 Spoons
Have a Meal- 2 Spoons
Walk the Dog- 4 Spoons
Study- 5 Spoons
Watch TV- 3 Spoons
Ironing- 5 Spoons
Exercise- 4 Spoons
Shopping- 4 Spoons
Read- 2 Spoons
Catch Public Transport- 4 Spoons
Cook- 4 Spoons

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🎤 Archived Interview: Dr. Dori Middleman, Pituitary Cushing’s Survivor

 

Dr. Dori Middleman is a Psychophamacologist, Certified Gestalt Psychotherapist and Cushing’s Patient.

She has had both pituitary surgery and two gamma knife radiosurgeries.

Listen at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cushingshelp/2008/06/12/dr-dori-middleman-pituitary-cushings-survivor

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🦓 Day 23: Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2019

 

Today’s Cushing’s Awareness Challenge post is about kidney cancer (renal cell carcinoma). You might wonder how in the world this is related to Cushing’s. I think it is, either directly or indirectly.

I alluded to this earlier ago when I said:

I finally started the Growth Hormone December 7, 2004.
Was the hassle and 3 year wait worth it?
Stay tuned for tomorrow, April 22, 2017 when all will be revealed.

So, as I said, I started Growth Hormone for my panhypopituitarism on December 7, 2004.  I took it for a while but never really felt any better, no more energy, no weight loss.  Sigh.

April 14, 2006, I went back to the endo and found out that the arginine test that was done in 2004 was done incorrectly. The directions were written unclearly and the test run incorrectly, not just for me but for everyone who had this test done there for a couple years. My endo discovered this when he was writing up a research paper and went to the lab to check on something.

So, I went off GH again for 2 weeks, then was retested. The “good news” was that the arginine test is only 90 minutes now instead of 3 hours.

Wow, what a nightmare my arginine retest started! I went back for that Thursday, April 27, 2006. Although the test was shorter, I got back to my hotel and just slept and slept. I was so glad that I hadn’t decided to go right home after the test.

Friday I felt fine and drove back home, no problem. I picked up my husband for a biopsy he was having and took him to an outpatient surgical center. While I was there waiting for the biopsy to be completed, I started noticing blood in my urine and major abdominal cramps.

There were signs all over that no cell phones were allowed so I sat in the restroom (I had to be in there a lot, anyway!) and I left messages for several of my doctors on what I should do. It was Friday afternoon and most of them were gone 🙁  I finally decided to see my PCP after I got my husband home.

When Tom was done with his testing, his doctor took one look at me and asked if I wanted an ambulance. I said no, that I thought I could make it to the emergency room ok – Tom couldn’t drive because of the anesthetic they had given him. I barely made it to the ER and left the car with Tom to park. Tom’s doctor followed us to the ER and instantly became my new doctor.

They took me in pretty fast since I was in so much pain, and had the blood in my urine. At first, they thought it was a kidney stone. After a CT scan, my new doctor said that, yes, I had a kidney stone but it wasn’t the worst of my problems, that I had kidney cancer. Wow, what a surprise that was! I was admitted to that hospital, had more CT scans, MRIs, bone scans, they looked everywhere.

My new “instant doctor” felt that he wasn’t up to the challenge of my surgery, so he called in someone else.  My next new “instant doctor” came to see me in the ER in the middle of the night.  He patted my hand, like a loving grandfather might and said: “At least you won’t have to do chemotherapy”.  And I felt so reassured.

It wasn’t until later, much after my surgery, that I found out that there was no chemo yet that worked for my cancer.  I was so thankful for the way he told me.  I would have really freaked out if he’d said that nothing they had was strong enough!

My open radical nephrectomy was May 9, 2006 in another hospital from the one where the initial diagnosis was made. My surgeon felt that he needed a specialist from that hospital because he believed pre-op that my tumor had invaded into the vena cava because of its appearance on the various scans. Luckily, that was not the case.

My entire left kidney and the encapsulated cancer (10 pounds worth!) were removed, along with my left adrenal gland and some lymph nodes. Although the cancer (renal cell carcinoma AKA RCC) was very close to hemorrhaging, the surgeon believed he got it all.

He said I was so lucky. If the surgery had been delayed any longer, the outcome would have been much different. I repeated the CT scans every 3 months, just to be sure that there is no cancer hiding anywhere. As it turns out, I can never say I’m cured, just NED (no evidence of disease). This thing can recur at any time, anywhere in my body.

I credit the arginine re-test with somehow aggravating my kidneys and revealing this cancer. Before the test, I had no clue that there was any problem. The arginine test showed that my IGF is still low but due to the kidney cancer I couldn’t take my growth hormone for another 5 years – so the test was useless anyway, except to hasten this newest diagnosis.

So… either Growth Hormone helped my cancer grow or testing for it revealed a cancer I might not have learned about until later.

My five years are more than up now.  In about 3 weeks I will be 13 years free of this cancer!  My kidney surgeon *thinks* it would be ok to try the growth hormone again. My endo says maybe. I’m still a little leery about this, especially where I didn’t notice that much improvement.

The following is adapted from https://cushingsbios.com/2017/06/21/maryo-growth-hormone-update/

May 4, 2017 ~ My endo at Hopkins and I talked about maybe trying growth hormone again.  We tested my levels locally and – surprise – everything is low, again.

So, we started the insurance routine again.  My insurance rejected the growth hormone I took last time around.  I just love how someone, a non-doctor who doesn’t know me, can reject my person endocrinologist’s recommendation.  My endo who specializes in Growth Hormone, who runs clinical trials for Johns Hopkins on “Control of growth hormone secretion, genetic causes of growth hormone deficiency, consequences of growth hormone deficiency.”

That insurance person has the power over the highly trained physician.  Blows my mind.

But I digress.  My doctor has agreed to prescribe Omnitrope, the insurance-guy’s recommendation.

June 14, 2017 ~ I got a call from my insurance.  They “may” need more information from my doctor…and they need it in 72 hours.

My doctor’s nurse says that they have to refer this to their pharmacy.

June 15, 2017 ~ I got a call from the Omnitrope folks who said they will need approval from my insurance company <sigh> but they will send me a starter prescription of 30 days worth.

June 16, 2017 ~ I got a call from the Specialty Pharmacy.  They’re sending the first month supply on Tuesday.  Estimated co-pay is $535 a month.  I may have to rethink this whole thing 😦   We sure don’t have an extra $6000.00 a year, no matter how much better it might make me feel.

June 19, 2017 ~ The kit arrived with everything but the actual meds and sharps.

June 20, 2017 ~ The meds and sharps arrived along with the receipt.  My insurance paid nearly $600 – and they took my copay out of my credit card for $533.

I still have to wait for the nurse’s visit to use this, even though I’ve used it in the past.

I’ve been doing some serious thinking in the last 24 hours.  Even if I could afford $533 a month for this, should I spend this kind of money on something that may, or may not, help, that may, or may not, give me cancer again.  We could do a couple cruises a year for this much money.  I’ve pretty much decided that I shouldn’t continue, even though I haven’t taken the first dose of this round.

April 22, 2018 – I have been on the GH for nearly a year.  I don’t feel any better, any less tired, haven’t lost any weight.  The only change I notice is that I find myself more chatty, and I don’t like that.  I’m thinking of going off this again after I’ve given it a year.

April 23, 2019 – I have been on the GH for nearly two years.  I don’t feel any better, any less tired, haven’t lost any weight.  The only change I notice is that I find myself more chatty, and I don’t like that.  I’m thinking of going off this again since even the co-pay is so expensive.  Last summer, I accidentally got water in my GH cartridge.  From https://maryoblog.com/2018/07/06/cruise-to-bermuda-september-2017/

I had a huge growth hormone fail on this trip.  I packed it exactly like I did here, but there was no fridge in the hotel.  I’d planned on leaving it in Michael’s apartment but the first night we were tired and I left it in a container of ice.  Of course, the ice melted and got into the cartridge so I threw it away.  There was no GH for the entire cruise 😦.  

There were no ill-effects that I noticed.

I’m pretty sure that I’m not going to take it with me when we travel through Heathrow Airport again in September.

 

 

⁉️ Myths and Facts about Cushing’s: Even Though You Are Chronically Ill, You Should Have The Same Amount Of Energy Every Day…

Myth: Even though you are chronically ill, you should have the same amount of energy every day. “You look SO good and you went to that party last month! Why can’t you come to MY party?!” When you say you are not well enough to do something, you are just making excuses. You could do it, just like you did that other thing; you are just choosing not to!

myth-busted

Fact: You may have heard me talk about “The Spoon Theory”. It was created by someone named Christine Miserandino, to explain the experience of someone with chronic illness in terms of using energy to live and to complete tasks every day. Though the myth assumes that one should have the same amount of energy all the time; the fact is that energy levels fluctuate and people who are chronically ill must make conscious decisions about what they can spend their energy on.

Christine Miserandino (2010) uses the spoon theory to answer the question, “What does it feel like to be sick?” The spoons serve as a symbol for resources available and energy spent to get through every moment of every day. Miserandino states that “The difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to”. Most people who get sick feel a loss of a life they once knew. When you are healthy, you expect to have a never ending supply of spoons. But, when you are not well, you need to count your spoons to keep track and you can never forget about it or take it for granted. Each task costs a spoon and each spoon is not to be taken for granted. Miserandino (2010) asks, “Do you know how many spoons people waste every day?”

Patients use the metaphor of a banking system. In this system, patients must make a withdrawal of a spoon every time they complete a task. Cushing’s and Adrenal Insufficiency patients talk about the “Cortisol Bank” metaphor. The concept is the same and the idea is that certain stressors and/or tasks cause one’s body to make a cortisol withdrawal from the body. Bad things happen when there is a cortisol deficit, meaning that there is not enough cortisol in the body for one to live everyday because of the amount of cortisol that has already been used up. If a person continues to draw from the bank on an account that is already negative, the situation can become worse and worse as each day passes.

Something needs to happen in order to start making appropriate deposits. This can include, taking more medication (stress dosing or an emergency shot), resting, getting adequate physical and emotional support and help, and saying “NO!”. Even when in a deficit, many patients have a difficult time saying “no” to an invitation to an event, completing a task, or engaging someone in a way that will use up more energy because of their fear of their loved one’s reactions. Much of the time, this fear is warranted because of the actual reactions they have received. Ever heard, “But you volunteered for the bake sale last week! You must be better! Why can’t you come to church this week?!”. You may have heard something similar.

It is important for loved ones to understand the amount of “spoons” it takes for a chronically ill person just to get through every single day. EVERYTHING costs spoons! The amount of spoons paid by each person varies from person to person. It all depends on that individual’s situation, body, level of illness, etc. What is common for all, though, is that spoons must be used and eventually those spoons run out. In order to avoid becoming sick or to recuperate from getting sick, the chronically ill patient must evaluate how he/she will use spoons and what tasks can be feasibly completed that day or week. Please understand that when the chronically ill patient says, “YES” to you; he/she is making a conscious choice to use up spoons to meet your need, request, or demand. Talking on the phone, going out to lunch, making dinner, coming to your event all required a sacrifice of another task that day or week. Your friend may have come to lunch with you but that required that she skipped washing the dishes that day or washing her hair, or is even giving up doing something important the next day. Instead of being angry at your friend, please consider why the request is denied at times.

spoons-mythsRefer to the attached picture. This is not an exact science but gives some idea of the spoon bank. If you have time, try doing this exercise: Lay out 8-12 physical spoons. As you complete certain tasks throughout the day, use this chart to subtract spoons from your pile.

Each and every thing requires a spoon. Taking a shower, washing your hair, cooking, cleaning, watching a movie, going out to lunch, working, writing this post (Ha)! When you are done with your day, notice how many spoons you have left. Observe your feelings after this exercise. You can even do it for a week. Lay out a certain amount of spoons for every day for seven days. If you go into a deficit, borrow spoons from the following day. However, if you do borrow spoons; you must take away a task that you WERE planning to originally do that day. Notice what happens and notice how you feel at the end of the week.

You can view “The Spoon Theory” in its entirety at: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Can you think of any other tasks that are not on this chart? Help our friends who are doing the activity. List those tasks and assign how many spoons each task will require.
Spoon Bank
Get out of bed- 1 Spoon
Shower- 2 Spoons
Attend Special Event- 5 Spoons
Go out for Coffee- 4 Spoons
Drive- 4 Spoons
Make a Phone Call- 3 Spoons
Work- 5 spoons
Play Games-3 Spoons
Clean the House- 5 Spoons
Have a Meal- 2 Spoons
Walk the Dog- 4 Spoons
Study- 5 Spoons
Watch TV- 3 Spoons
Ironing- 5 Spoons
Exercise- 4 Spoons
Shopping- 4 Spoons
Read- 2 Spoons
Catch Public Transport- 4 Spoons
Cook- 4 Spoons

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🎤 Archived Interview with Dr. Dori Middleman, Pituitary Cushing’s Survivor

 

Dr. Dori Middleman is a Psychophamacologist, Certified Gestalt Psychotherapist and Cushing’s Patient.

She has had both pituitary surgery and two gamma knife radiosurgeries.

Listen at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cushingshelp/2008/06/12/dr-dori-middleman-pituitary-cushings-survivor

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🦓 Day 24: Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2018

Today’s Cushing’s Awareness Challenge post is about kidney cancer (renal cell carcinoma). You might wonder how in the world this is related to Cushing’s. I think it is, either directly or indirectly.

I alluded to this earlier ago when I said:

I finally started the Growth Hormone December 7, 2004.
Was the hassle and 3 year wait worth it?
Stay tuned for tomorrow, April 22, 2017 when all will be revealed.

So, as I said, I started Growth Hormone for my panhypopituitarism on December 7, 2004.  I took it for a while but never really felt any better, no more energy, no weight loss.  Sigh.

April 14, 2006, I went back to the endo and found out that the arginine test that was done in 2004 was done incorrectly. The directions were written unclearly and the test run incorrectly, not just for me but for everyone who had this test done there for a couple years. My endo discovered this when he was writing up a research paper and went to the lab to check on something.

So, I went off GH again for 2 weeks, then was retested. The “good news” was that the arginine test is only 90 minutes now instead of 3 hours.

Wow, what a nightmare my arginine retest started! I went back for that Thursday, April 27, 2006. Although the test was shorter, I got back to my hotel and just slept and slept. I was so glad that I hadn’t decided to go right home after the test.

Friday I felt fine and drove back home, no problem. I picked up my husband for a biopsy he was having and took him to an outpatient surgical center. While I was there waiting for the biopsy to be completed, I started noticing blood in my urine and major abdominal cramps.

There were signs all over that no cell phones were allowed so I sat in the restroom (I had to be in there a lot, anyway!) and I left messages for several of my doctors on what I should do. It was Friday afternoon and most of them were gone 🙁  I finally decided to see my PCP after I got my husband home.

When Tom was done with his testing, his doctor took one look at me and asked if I wanted an ambulance. I said no, that I thought I could make it to the emergency room ok – Tom couldn’t drive because of the anesthetic they had given him. I barely made it to the ER and left the car with Tom to park. Tom’s doctor followed us to the ER and instantly became my new doctor.

They took me in pretty fast since I was in so much pain, and had the blood in my urine. At first, they thought it was a kidney stone. After a CT scan, my new doctor said that, yes, I had a kidney stone but it wasn’t the worst of my problems, that I had kidney cancer. Wow, what a surprise that was! I was admitted to that hospital, had more CT scans, MRIs, bone scans, they looked everywhere.

My new “instant doctor” felt that he wasn’t up to the challenge of my surgery, so he called in someone else.  My next new “instant doctor” came to see me in the ER in the middle of the night.  He patted my hand, like a loving grandfather might and said: “At least you won’t have to do chemotherapy”.  And I felt so reassured.

It wasn’t until later, much after my surgery, that I found out that there was no chemo yet that worked for my cancer.  I was so thankful for the way he told me.  I would have really freaked out if he’d said that nothing they had was strong enough!

My open radical nephrectomy was May 9, 2006 in another hospital from the one where the initial diagnosis was made. My surgeon felt that he needed a specialist from that hospital because he believed pre-op that my tumor had invaded into the vena cava because of its appearance on the various scans. Luckily, that was not the case.

My entire left kidney and the encapsulated cancer (10 pounds worth!) were removed, along with my left adrenal gland and some lymph nodes. Although the cancer (renal cell carcinoma AKA RCC) was very close to hemorrhaging, the surgeon believed he got it all.

He said I was so lucky. If the surgery had been delayed any longer, the outcome would have been much different. I repeated the CT scans every 3 months, just to be sure that there is no cancer hiding anywhere. As it turns out, I can never say I’m cured, just NED (no evidence of disease). This thing can recur at any time, anywhere in my body.

I credit the arginine re-test with somehow aggravating my kidneys and revealing this cancer. Before the test, I had no clue that there was any problem. The arginine test showed that my IGF is still low but due to the kidney cancer I couldn’t take my growth hormone for another 5 years – so the test was useless anyway, except to hasten this newest diagnosis.

So… either Growth Hormone helped my cancer grow or testing for it revealed a cancer I might not have learned about until later.

My five years are more than up now.  In about 3 weeks I will be 12 years free of this cancer!  My kidney surgeon *thinks* it would be ok to try the growth hormone again. My endo says maybe. I’m still a little leery about this, especially where I didn’t notice that much improvement.

The following is adapted from https://cushingsbios.com/2017/06/21/maryo-growth-hormone-update/

May 4, 2017 ~ My endo at Hopkins and I talked about maybe trying growth hormone again.  We tested my levels locally and – surprise – everything is low, again.

So, we started the insurance routine again.  My insurance rejected the growth hormone I took last time around.  I just love how someone, a non-doctor who doesn’t know me, can reject my person endocrinologist’s recommendation.  My endo who specializes in Growth Hormone, who runs clinical trials for Johns Hopkins on “Control of growth hormone secretion, genetic causes of growth hormone deficiency, consequences of growth hormone deficiency.”

That insurance person has the power over the highly trained physician.  Blows my mind.

But I digress.  My doctor has agreed to prescribe Omnitrope, the insurance-guy’s recommendation.

June 14, 2017 ~ I got a call from my insurance.  They “may” need more information from my doctor…and they need it in 72 hours.

My doctor’s nurse says that they have to refer this to their pharmacy.

June 15, 2017 ~ I got a call from the Omnitrope folks who said they will need approval from my insurance company <sigh> but they will send me a starter prescription of 30 days worth.

June 16, 2017 ~ I got a call from the Specialty Pharmacy.  They’re sending the first month supply on Tuesday.  Estimated co-pay is $535 a month.  I may have to rethink this whole thing 😦   We sure don’t have an extra $6000.00 a year, no matter how much better it might make me feel.

June 19, 2017 ~ The kit arrived with everything but the actual meds and sharps.

June 20, 2017 ~ The meds and sharps arrived along with the receipt.  My insurance paid nearly $600 – and they took my copay out of my credit card for $533.

I still have to wait for the nurse’s visit to use this, even though I’ve used it in the past.

I’ve been doing some serious thinking in the last 24 hours.  Even if I could afford $533 a month for this, should I spend this kind of money on something that may, or may not, help, that may, or may not, give me cancer again.  We could do a couple cruises a year for this much money.  I’ve pretty much decided that I shouldn’t continue, even though I haven’t taken the first dose of this round.

April 22, 2018 – I have been on the GH for nearly a year.  I don’t feel any better, any less tired, haven’t lost any weight.  The only change I notice is that I find myself more chatty, and I don’t like that.  I’m thinking of going off this again after I’ve given it a year.

What will happen?

 

What to do?

Myth: Even Though You Are Chronically Ill, You Should Have The Same Amount Of Energy Every Day…

Myth: Even though you are chronically ill, you should have the same amount of energy every day. “You look SO good and you went to that party last month! Why can’t you come to MY party?!” When you say you are not well enough to do something, you are just making excuses. You could do it, just like you did that other thing; you are just choosing not to!

myth-busted

Fact: You may have heard me talk about “The Spoon Theory”. It was created by someone named Christine Miserandino, to explain the experience of someone with chronic illness in terms of using energy to live and to complete tasks every day. Though the myth assumes that one should have the same amount of energy all the time; the fact is that energy levels fluctuate and people who are chronically ill must make conscious decisions about what they can spend their energy on.

Christine Miserandino (2010) uses the spoon theory to answer the question, “What does it feel like to be sick?” The spoons serve as a symbol for resources available and energy spent to get through every moment of every day. Miserandino states that “The difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to”. Most people who get sick feel a loss of a life they once knew. When you are healthy, you expect to have a never ending supply of spoons. But, when you are not well, you need to count your spoons to keep track and you can never forget about it or take it for granted. Each task costs a spoon and each spoon is not to be taken for granted. Miserandino (2010) asks, “Do you know how many spoons people waste every day?”

Patients use the metaphor of a banking system. In this system, patients must make a withdrawal of a spoon every time they complete a task. Cushing’s and Adrenal Insufficiency patients talk about the “Cortisol Bank” metaphor. The concept is the same and the idea is that certain stressors and/or tasks cause one’s body to make a cortisol withdrawal from the body. Bad things happen when there is a cortisol deficit, meaning that there is not enough cortisol in the body for one to live everyday because of the amount of cortisol that has already been used up. If a person continues to draw from the bank on an account that is already negative, the situation can become worse and worse as each day passes.

Something needs to happen in order to start making appropriate deposits. This can include, taking more medication (stress dosing or an emergency shot), resting, getting adequate physical and emotional support and help, and saying “NO!”. Even when in a deficit, many patients have a difficult time saying “no” to an invitation to an event, completing a task, or engaging someone in a way that will use up more energy because of their fear of their loved one’s reactions. Much of the time, this fear is warranted because of the actual reactions they have received. Ever heard, “But you volunteered for the bake sale last week! You must be better! Why can’t you come to church this week?!”. You may have heard something similar.

It is important for loved ones to understand the amount of “spoons” it takes for a chronically ill person just to get through every single day. EVERYTHING costs spoons! The amount of spoons paid by each person varies from person to person. It all depends on that individual’s situation, body, level of illness, etc. What is common for all, though, is that spoons must be used and eventually those spoons run out. In order to avoid becoming sick or to recuperate from getting sick, the chronically ill patient must evaluate how he/she will use spoons and what tasks can be feasibly completed that day or week. Please understand that when the chronically ill patient says, “YES” to you; he/she is making a conscious choice to use up spoons to meet your need, request, or demand. Talking on the phone, going out to lunch, making dinner, coming to your event all required a sacrifice of another task that day or week. Your friend may have come to lunch with you but that required that she skipped washing the dishes that day or washing her hair, or is even giving up doing something important the next day. Instead of being angry at your friend, please consider why the request is denied at times.

spoons-mythsRefer to the attached picture. This is not an exact science but gives some idea of the spoon bank. If you have time, try doing this exercise: Lay out 8-12 physical spoons. As you complete certain tasks throughout the day, use this chart to subtract spoons from your pile.

Each and every thing requires a spoon. Taking a shower, washing your hair, cooking, cleaning, watching a movie, going out to lunch, working, writing this post (Ha)! When you are done with your day, notice how many spoons you have left. Observe your feelings after this exercise. You can even do it for a week. Lay out a certain amount of spoons for every day for seven days. If you go into a deficit, borrow spoons from the following day. However, if you do borrow spoons; you must take away a task that you WERE planning to originally do that day. Notice what happens and notice how you feel at the end of the week.

You can view “The Spoon Theory” in its entirety at: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Can you think of any other tasks that are not on this chart? Help our friends who are doing the activity. List those tasks and assign how many spoons each task will require.
Spoon Bank
Get out of bed- 1 Spoon
Shower- 2 Spoons
Attend Special Event- 5 Spoons
Go out for Coffee- 4 Spoons
Drive- 4 Spoons
Make a Phone Call- 3 Spoons
Work- 5 spoons
Play Games-3 Spoons
Clean the House- 5 Spoons
Have a Meal- 2 Spoons
Walk the Dog- 4 Spoons
Study- 5 Spoons
Watch TV- 3 Spoons
Ironing- 5 Spoons
Exercise- 4 Spoons
Shopping- 4 Spoons
Read- 2 Spoons
Catch Public Transport- 4 Spoons
Cook- 4 Spoons

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